Being on holiday, I have had extra time to spend with my new little son, Caleb. Holding, talking with (well, he doesn’t talk back), rocking, observing every little nuance of his development, and much more.
I tell you, it’s quite interesting when you begin to see yourself in your son, even when he is only just coming up to three months old. First off, it starts with the closeness in our physical features. I did not realise how much he truly looked like I did when I was his age until we opened an old photo album at my parents house. It’s almost as if he at three months and me at three months are identical twins. And both of us looked so similar at only three weeks as well.
My own dad jokes at the tragedy of such likeness, but I think it quite amazing. My wife has just reminded me how happy she is that Caleb looks like me. The only thing is that Caleb has blue eyes and I have hazel eyes.
But also, even in that physical likeness, it’s not just staring at an old picture and seeing the similarity. It just happened today, on holiday in Florida, while starring at him in his rocking swing. Of course, I don’t really know all the details about myself at that age, but I have seen the pictures and videos. And I see the likeness. It reminds me of these words I read in Genesis:
When Adam had lived 130 years, he fathered a son in his own likeness, after his image, and named him Seth. (Genesis 5:3)
Thankfully, I fathered my first son at 30 instead of 130 years old.
In all this, my desire continues to grow for seeing him shaped into the son he should be. We gave him the middle name Benjamin as a prophetic statement, if you will, of the relationship I desired for us two to have together. I yearn to have a close relationship with him throughout our days together, starting now and up until I pass on.
But I also know there are things in me that I don’t want him to take up. I am looking to be changed myself, see God break those unwanted things, all to spare Caleb of experiencing them and embracing them himself. But I know that it won’t be perfect. I don’t say that in an overly negative and defeated sense. But I just know I live in this age, a fallen world where sin is real and many times it gets the best of me.
But, I also take comfort in knowing that I am the father of my son. Caleb is my son. He is in my likeness and in my image – a healthy thing, something God designed. But, as a son of the Father, I want to help teach my son how to be a son of the Father.
Our Father smiles at what he has done in making Caleb the son of Scott and Scott the father of Caleb. But, in all, I want to impart the heart of Father God to my son. And if I can do that, I know I will have done the greatest thing a father can do.
Thank you for such a son, Father.